Thank you

I am officially out of high school. I remember when I first opened this blogger account, I was only in my very first year of high school. I was A completely different person than who I have grown to be. Full of hopes and dreams and innocence. It has been 5 years of complications, success, obstacles and lessons... And I am not quite sure how I feel about it all. I have this need to have someone to depend on, to still be a kid to someone.. To not have to be responsible or mature, but just be that little 13 year old who never intended on making mistakes. She's still here, somewhere in my heart.. But this person who I am now came in and just pushed her aside.

  I might be getting emotional because it was also yesterday 5 years ago, that I hung out with Miranda and Francis for the first time. My two saviors basically, two of the reasons why I am where I am, and how I have managed to become who I am. Without them, I am not quite sure in which direction my life would have gone. I am so lucky to have each of them in my life, even if its not the same as how it used to be, they are still here. I don't know what it is about places, but they have this way of grounding roots. Of finding their way into one's heart and just staying there, keeping with it all of the memories. Good and bad. For some reason, all of those memories from late night drives, starbucks banana vivano's, to thanksgiving dinner and the C.N tower.. are coming back to me now that school is over.. and my birthday has past.. It was all such a very long time ago, wasn't it?

  I am not sure if I ever really got the chance to truly thank you guys, for making my life easier. For giving me someone to talk to, and for always giving me a place to go. I guess it is not the place so much that matters, but really it was just that you guys were always at those places.. that's what made it so great, I think. I really do appreciate everything that you both have done for me. I cannot express how much love I have for you guys. Even if things are not the same between you two, It doesn't change anything else. I guess I kind of turned this into a thank you letter. I guess like I said before, I am just a little emotional over everything that is happening and it being 5 years that we have essentially known each other. I just miss the times we had, and it seemed more frequent that we were together than how it is today.. I wish I could change that, because the time we spent together brought so much joy to my life. Anyways.. I just wanted to say thank you again. And that I love you both.
 -Candice

Cree prophecy

Only after the last tree has been cut down,
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only after the last river has been poisoned..
Only then will you find, that money cannot be eaten.
-Cree Prophecy

Idk

I, argh. I just dunno.

Romeo and Juliet

A love story. The ultimate love story at that. Beautiful and ugly at the same time. Such a love between two people never can be replicated nor destroyed. This love, so true, death an only alternative to being infinitely apart. Both blind to the rest of the world, vowing to love one another til death do them part. And yet still, Death they endure together so madly in love.

Sworn enemies newly sworn lovers, fOrever entertwined within eachothers hearts. rooted there, deeply never to be removed. Obsession almost, filled with adoration. Having felt nothing so intense as this, a heart so heavy with emotion. Their love runs deep in spite of their families ever lasting hatred for eachother.

Love is beautiful, and we now take it for granted. SOmething so true is hard to come by, let this be a lesson that if you have this, never let It go for you know not how unwillingly it may go.

My life philosophy

People work too hard.

I don't think people realize that while they're working day and night to have their future, that really they are missing out on their whole life. The distracted father, too busy to take his son to a football game. The bustling mother, working so late she can't be home for supper.. Always, the same excuse- I'm working towards the future. What future? what future will be left when you are 65 and retired? With grown children you don't even know their favourite color?

Yes, the future is highly important.. after all, it will be the life we are living one day. But what about the life we are living now? That is what is important, to me. Because how can you ever have had a life, if when you look back you have nothing to say about it except that you worked hard? Yeah, we'll know you worked hard when you have that giant house you've always wanted, but it's empty.

You don't want to miss out on the life you're living now. It's too vital to miss. If you're too set on this one path leading to this one place you want to be, you won't see the beauty along the way of that path. You won't have time to stop and smell the flowers. Before you know it, you'll have walked, or perhaps ran down that path so fast that you will never have known the fun of going down that path in the first place.

Just dont miss out on life. It's too short.

i dont even know

I cant stop falling. i keep managing to pick myself up and start to walk but just as i do so i trip over my stupid foot again and fall twice as deep down this stupid dark hole. im not talking about love either, im talking about wonderful old life. i hate it. everything, everything goes wrong. i cant stop feeling depressed. whenever i just barely manage this thing on my face that could JUST pass as a smile, it just gets ripped off of me again. but the events arent even the worse part. the worst part, is that i cant feel anyone here to help catch me. i feel alone and scared and i just want the feeling to go away. I just need someone here for me, who will never go away and push me back up when i dont have the strength to get back up. but i cant feel that anymore. I can see people, yes. many people. but they`re just watching. i dont know how to live anymore, maybe i should just let myself fall. i just wish i could help myself.

So many Questions.. So little answers..

What made him change his mind?
Was it because he loves me, still?
Or was it because when I walked past him,
That first day, he saw it took all I had not to cry?

Does it hurt him too, to see me everyday?
Does he feel the constant pain I do,
When I lay in bed at night,
Trying to keep my mind off of him?

Does it ever bring tears to his eyes,
When our song comes on the radio?
Does he change the station too?
Or does he hate anything that has to do with me?

Does his chest ever feel empty?
Or does she fill that gap perfectly?
Does he wonder about me like I do him?
And does he hate that he wonders, too?

I wish I knew what he was thinking.
Does he know that I still love him?
More than my own life, more than anything?
I wish I didnt. And I wish he still felt the same.