My favourite part of a poem I wrote ! and more.

In time, perhaps, I'll see the big deal,
But right now, i'd rather be blind.
I'd rather live in the dark,
then have that tiny light of fake vision.


Okay, i know thats short, so instead of wasting precious page, I shall write some more.. Tomorrow I have school, and we start exams.. Im probably going to do pretty good on most of the subjects, just not math. I am the worst person at math. Honestly, I dont understand how someone could be so bad at math.. oh, well, actually i do know hoow im so bad at it, but im not going to get into that, lol. Anyways, today i went for sushi with my dad, but it wasnt the greatest, we didnt go to kanda's, we went to one at a strip mall, and it sucked :S Buuut, at least my dad seemed to enjoy it. I am so tired right now, but I think im stil having anxiety, like miranda said. Because for some reason I find it so scary to sleep, sort of the feeling that I will miss something, only, theres nothing to miss.

I feel like im wasting my time sleeping, and i wish that i didnt need to sleep.. But i do need to sleep, and I feel so.. empty when I sleep. I haven't dreamed in forever, and it feels as though i just simply close my eyes, and they open again, and that i didnt sleep, but somehow, its morning. Im afraid of the darkness that somes with sleep, and the hollowness, I hate the fact that it feels amazing to be falling asleep but the feeling ends within 5 minutes, and i somehow woke up. Im terrified of not waking up, but I wake up too fast. Honestly, im almost as tired as I am when i go to bed, when i wake up. I dont understand it, I wish it would be different.. I miss dreaming, I miss having long sleeps where when i wake up I KNOW that I was asleep, I know for a fact that the sky isnt playing tricks on me.

Like, heres an example, this is how much sleeping and awaking so fast freaks me out: I had a dream that I woke up, and it was morning, and in my dream i was freaking out because i was awake so fast. [thats the ONE dream i've had in the past several months] And then i woke up from that dream, and i glanced out the window, and the most relief that i've ever felt washed through me to know that i could go back to sleep because it was still completely dark out. I hate this feeling.. I just want it to go away, and never come back...

Anyways,, speaking of sleep, it is necessary for me to do so now, Even though it wont make much of a difference.

Goodnight, to you.

:)