Emotion of a memory

Memories over the years, tend to fade. Though, when you do recall the faded memory, it then tends to be intensified. With every old memory comes emotions. Weather they be anger, content, satisfaction, jealousy, love, hatred or sadness... You have an emotion stored in every memory. Each that you remember has significance or meaning. But which emotion with a memory comes worse, but guilt? It over powers every other emotion within the memory. So people ask, how can a murder, or a rapist live with themselves after causing so much misery to another human being? A person just like them? Who breathes, and eats, and sleeps and Feels? How can they swallow down that guilt so easily when such a memory resurfaces to the conscious mind? Re seeing the terrified face of a little girl, or the crying eyes of a man thinking of his only daughter never to see her again. How do you over power such an emotion? Guilt is a strong emotion that you feel being born in the pit of your stomach. Almost like something squeezing and tying together your intestines, and working its way up past your now fast paced heart, Wrapping itself around that as well. Pushing further to the throat, hovering at the point where nothing can stay long before you vomit, it hovers until you feel like you WILL vomit, then it returns mysteriously back to its birth place.

Every time until you either do something rash, or beg for forgiveness. That is how most people work. Then you have those criminals who work the opposite way. Instead of feeling guilt, they feel satisfaction. They do not suffer from the evil that becomes a part of you, and slowly drives you insane. Sometimes I wonder if maybe those who feel no guilt, felt guilt so many times in their past but refused to release the evil by apologizing, that now it's just a normal feeling like happiness, and now, they are just used to it. As if their body adapted to it and now they can just no longer acknowledge the feeling. Maybe, I wonder, THAT is what drives them to be so insane. Those who trap the feeling inside, allowing themselves to go insane. Because, otherwise, how could someone not wind up killing themselves with the over powering guilt that possesses you after doing something horrid? Personally, I wouldn't need to kill myself, I would just naturally die with the way that the guilt raps around my organs, slowly and painfully breaking every part of me apart. The guilt for me, would get worse and worse with every memory of a terrible past.