Don't worry.. Be Happy..

Don't worry.. Be Happy..

NOT AS EASY TO DO AS IT IS TO SAY!!!

God, I need to seriously stop being stressed before one; I develop an ulsar, or 2; I grow all gray hair. This is getting ridiculous I don't even know what's going on anymore, Like I do but I don't know whose fault it is or if I am just going crazy. But I feel more comfortable saying that I am going crazy. But whaatever I will live. I think. Omg I cant wait to go to Toronto.. 2 days isn't a lot but I'll take it if it means I get to be away for a bit. Well I am off.................

Thinking Blankly

I used to believe I thought too much. I believed it because I was always feeling depressed, feeling sad, and I just felt like I had way too much access to myself then I should have had. And with that, I just stopped thinking. I know that sounds impossible, but really I stopped thinking. I thought about simple things like 'i want coffee' or 'okay im crossing the road, look both ways' But I never went deeply into my mind. I became pretty much a bimbo. Which is why I got writers block for like 9 months, and why my entries here became less meaningful and sounded stupid. I stopped letting myself gain access to myself. Which I now realize is a horrible thing. I realize now that you need to have access to your thoughts, it's important to let yourself think about life. And you can't simply stop thinking just because you're scared of your thoughts. It messes you up. I really forgot how to think things through, and talk things out.. I mean, I still don't know how to speak my true feelings because yes, I feel things, and I can classify what i am feeling, but I don't know how to go inside myself and figure out what exactly is bothering me. Which is not a great thing, especially not in a relationship where you need to be able to explain your feelings to the person you love. But I am trying now, Im trying to go back to when I was able to easily think without struggling to.