Stupid fiction and they`re non- realness.

I think I need to stop reading fiction romance stories. They`re killing me. Literally speaking. I read about all these.. perfect, yet unperfect love in books that always.. ALWAYS have a conflict, but in the end.. the love is always so strong that the two in love end up together.. and they`re so perfect for eachother.. irrevocable strong love.. That is compeletely thought up by some person who probably has the same problem as me.. It`s not fair. I want to find someone who I love that much.. Who will love me that much and care for me and comfort me.. I want someone who can fill the emptiness I feel in my chest right now.. But it wont ever happen.. It wont ever be the way I have pictured it. Theres always going to be those stupid doses of horrible reality and life. I dont want it. I just wish I could suppress it forever, but its impossible. I really just wish that I could have the feelings for someone that I feel when Im reading about it. Because it feels so wonderful.. And sure.. I`ll probably have the feeling one day with someone, but for how long? Eventually the happy giddy feelings will dissapear.. and eventually ill have to start thinking about life, about money, and hosues and.. and just everything. Its amazing in the books.. they can deal with all of that without ever falling out of love, or ending in divorce or tears because the other cheated. I honestly with all of my heart wish that could happen but it never will. Im scared to not have something that I never even had to start with. But there is this giant unfulfilled hole in my chest that feels like it can never be filled. I desperately wish it could be though.