Family !

Beginning of the story i'm writing =]

Pre-Face:

Love... Love is totally irrational, nothing had to make sense when you loved someone, and even though you might want to make sense of things, you can't.. But it does't matter This is how it felt for me, nothing made sense anymore, or at least, my emotions didn't. I could be completely furious at him, but I still wanteed him to comfort me, even if it were him who did the damage, and strangely I wanted to comfort him too. As dangerous at it was loving him, even though he had admitted to not being sure about his self-control, it did not matter.. Because I trusted him, because I loved him. I was stepping into a blinding light that I could not see through, in which I could not see the distance or hazards along the way, a light in which I could not see the outcome, but it didn't matter. The consequence of this action could cost me my life; but that seemed like such an insignificant thing to lose, compared to losing him, to not being able to be with him. I would take death peacefully, happily even if I could not stay with him.. Because it was irrational. I stepped through the blinding light smiling, to start my waiting destiny.

Thats the first page, I did it in a matter of 5-10 minutes =] hehe.

Hmm =]

What a beautiful day today =] I am in a great mood just for the simple reason that it was sunny out and fairly warm. I re-read Midnight sun, so that added to my goodmood. Not because I love the [partial] book so much, though that's definatly part of it, It's because I love all the interesting words in it.. It inspores to me write, and so I did, I wrote one page within a 5 minute period, and its actually pretty good. hahaha, I must sound soo nerdy, with the interesting words thing.. What I mean by that, is the words in it are more ... mature I guess I can say. Because their just so much more graceful to use in sentences, then the short, quick, slang words that I have been using. So I would rather write with those types of words so I have been learning the meanings of them. I knew some of them.. here are some of the words I thought were pretty cool.. -Peripheral-Exuberant-Endeavored-Potent-Biased- ect.. And I love the old fashioned thing that goes on in the twilight series.. Instead of being lazy and using the slang like "it's,can't,wouldn't,couldn't,weren't" it's dragged out a little, used as it should be.. "It is, Cannot, Would not, Could not, Were not" It just sounds more beautiful in sentence =] Anyways... Just thought that I would write today..

Goodnight!!! xoxo

A great day except for ...

I am watching stand up comedy right now... again. I've been watching it alot lately.. I find it really funny. Anyways, yesterday I spent most of the day with franky =] First, we went to pick up my aunt georgette, and from there we went to vici's to eat. The food was really good, lol, the potato's especially :D After vici's, we dropped off georgette and went to his nephews place, because his nephews girlfriend was going to have a look at my hair to see what she could do with it[because I need my regular color back] But the process she had to do to get my hair back was long and could possibly burn my hair, which woud usually be fine, if it were okay to cut my hair, but I can't do that, i've been growing it out too long to get it cut again. So instead of doing it then, we're going to go back next month to get it done.

We were at franky's nephew's place until 4:30 about, and then we left. We were going to up to mount Royal, but then Miranda called and said she needed help to transport a poker table to her house from her aunt's house.. So we did that :P Then after we dropped off the poker table we left with Miranda and we went to pick up corey and Karlene to go for sushi. So we went back to the west Island to go eat sushi at Kanda.. but on the way there, corey got into a fight with shelbie [he told her off for always being rude to people who do nothing wrong, which is what she did to Franky],It was let go for a little bit, but then once we got to Kanda, corey was on the phone again, so Franky, Miranda, Karlene and I went up into Kanda and let corey talk on the phone, but when corey came up he was really upset.. Then my mom called Miranda's phone and told me to come home, so corey got even more upset and went back downstairs outside.

Miranda talked to my mom and got her to let me stay with them, but corey wouldn't eat, and he wouldn't come back upstairs. I don't know what was said on the phone between my mom and corey, but he said that my mom was out of his life now. Corey kept telling us to go eat and stuff, that he would wait outside, but we wanted him to come eat.. but he wouldnt, so eventually we just went back up to eat.. we ate really fast though, and the sushi was really good. After that, we left and corey was still very upset, so we went up to mount royal, we drove to a nice view part of the mountain, and then we climbed up to where the cross is, it was really fun, but I was totally freaked out :S Im a little paranoid when it comes to things like that. But yeah, it was fun. After mount royal, we drove corey aand karlene and miranda back to karlene's so they could go roller blading, and then me and franky went to the parking lot of the mall and he let me drive the truck, it was so much fun !!

After that, we went to look at the old part of la prairie, and it was very nice, a cute place, but I dont think i'd ever live there. Then Franky drove me home and that was my day. Anyways, I hope corey is okay, because when I got home there was a big ziplock bag full of stuff that had corey's name on it.. His birth certificate, his report cards, and it had a photo album full of his pictures when he was little.. I'm still annoyed,my mom has to start acting her age, i mean, you can only go so far as a parent before what you do is just foolish or stupid. I really do not know what was said on the phone between my mom and corey, but I don't see how it had anything to do with me :S and what corey said to shelbie was totally right[even though he didn't need to yell about it]

I mean, shelbie does seem to think she can control everyone around her. She's very disrespectful.. She called Franky saying "I left you two voice mails and I think its very disresectful that you didn't call me back" Oh yes your majesty. And what makes it worse is that she says it in a polite way, but sarcastically.. Well i'm not sure how to explain it, but its just so rude, and there was no need for it, cosidering it was HIM doing the favor for HER, she could have been more respectful about it. Come on! She's 18, he's 31,Who does she think she is???!? ughhhhhh. So he didn't hear his phone,SORRY if he doesnt have super-sonic hearing, you know, because I am SURE she has never missed ANY calls in her life. I might need to get the dicionary meaning of the word UNINTENTIONALLY and shove it in her face so she might have the TINY hope of understanding the concept, because apparantly, its too big a concept for her. Anyways, I have got to stop writing before I get too mad about it again.
Byeeeeeeeeeeee

[im updating this on april 20th right now] -just wanted to say wow, i said some mean things, i didint mean to be like that but i was mad,... and i kind of like how i phrased it =]

Hmm, What to write..

Okaay.
Well, Im tryig to think of something to write, I miss writing daily but I cant think of anything to write. That's bad though, I want to be a writer but how can I be a writer if i'm always running out of things to write? Ugh. No, wait thats not true. I dont alwys run out of things to write, only on blogger because im just randomly writing, whereas if im writing a book or poem or song, it just comes to be, word after word after word, Just comes out of nowhere from somewhere inside this tiny brain that SOMEHOW fits all this information in it. hmm, speaking of which.. brains are like freaking amazing, I was thinking about it.. How it can remember everything back to when you were 4 years old, and how it can remember like 2 million words, and how it can remember a persons face, a persons name, and how you can remember tiny simple things like a quote you hear once on some kind of commerical.. Its really cool. .. WOW, sorry to randomly state this, but as I am speaking of the brain remembering things, im also watching tv, and just as im writing about remembering, a commercial about alzeimers comes on. Ironic, Right? Anyways, back to the brain, I just find it totally cool, how -considering how small it is- Much things it can remember and figure out... Tonight I was looking at the sky. The stars all alined perfectly together and never moving.. Well I was just thinking.. how is that ? The world supposedly spins and spins and spins SUPER fast, so fast that we dont get dizzy, or fall, or see or feel it moving for that matter. Now what I was wondering is that, if the world is in fact moving at such a speed, how do we always see the moon, and the stars in the same place, never changing direction, or never slightly moving an inch [that we notice] ? Its so hard to understand!! But interesting, I am going to have to ind that out, because I would really ove to know how if we're moving that we dont see anything out in space moving either. Anyways, I guess i've got nothing else to write about at the moment.. OH, today i was bored and I made a cake, in the design of a canadien flag, I did it without a stenci and it turned out pretty good, heres a pic.. Anyways, ciao for now !! xox

Hair catastrophe!

My hair is hopeless!!! I died it black a while ago, and I liked it. But now i dont like it anymore, im much too pale for my hair to be black. So, I I tried dying it red when my roots began growing out, red is my natural color, so I thought red would be the prefect color to blend in with my roots... But no, it did not work, it only died my roots a darker red and the bottem of my hair went red, but the rest stayed black. So 2 days later, I tried to dye my hair blonde, just to get it a light color so the red would take to it.. but that did not work either, it didnt even dye my roots blonde, the roots went back to its original color of red, and my hair lightened about half a shade and thats it! Its crazy, now i know never to dye my hair that dark of a color again, but i think im just going to stick with my regular color from now on, its fine. :)

Audition

Sooooooooo, I auditioned for my school talent show today, its crazy how nervous I get, it just cannot be healthy. I only started getting nervous 2nd period right before lunch, which is when I had to audition.. My stomache was doing little fips and nervously twisting in weird ways. Anyways, Lunch came, the bell rings at 11:45, and the audition was at 12. So I still had to deal with all the nervousness for an extra 15 minutes, it was excrutiating, i kept thinking I was do badly and I ALMOST changed my mind about it. But finally, I went into the room in which the audition was.. I was still nervous, my friends came with me, tara, lily, sammi, alex, and sarah,,, and plus I was singing infront of the two people who organized it.. I sang and I was so nervous that my stomache muscles crapmed up.. and I heard the shakyness in my voice, but other then the shakyness i sang pretty well... the guy who was deciding weather or not i got in said twice that i was really good, and afterwards when i asked tara about the shakyness in my voice, she said she never heard it,.. so it was only me, thank god, So hopefully I wi make it in.. if I do, I am seriously going to somehow have to get over the stupid shyness.. over come it before the show so i dont make a HUGE fool out of my self infront of the whole school. OOHHH ..And I literally NOT KIDDING did NOT stop shaking until lunch ended !!! TERRIBLE! Anyways, that was the nervousnessicity thingymabober, okay, im gonee, au revoir :)