Monday, August 24, 2009
DONE.
Screw ev-er-y-thing. I'm just going to lock myself in a closet until 2010. I hate 2009, and want to skip it, but i can't. so screw it. I have no clue what to do anymore, and im done thinking that it will get better, because it just keeps getting worst. I really don't care anymore. I have a week left until school starts, and I do not have a clue as to what i'll do if I still have a knot and other things that im not mentioning. But whatever, i dont care. oh, and remember how i said, that the only thing good about this year were the trips to toronto? well, thats been taken away from me too. I can't go tomorrow like i was suppose to.
NOW, if you'll excuse me, i really am going to go cry in a corner.
NOW, if you'll excuse me, i really am going to go cry in a corner.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Depressedish.
So depression.
It sucks.
This year has been the worst for me, nothing too tooooo bad. i guess. But like, i'm positive that 2009 hates me. I mean, it started in june, everyone was telling me i should go back to my natural hair color[i had dyed it black, and my natural was red] and then i begin missing it too, so i go to get it bleached, and of course, it burns my scalp. THEN, i go to toronto thinking whatever, it should be fine, and it just gets worst. Then my hair gets all knotted[were still in june,here people, now its augest and my hair is STILL knotted,] AND i stub my toe, and let me tell you, it must have been one hell of a bang, because here i am 3 months later and the toe is still affected. I've been to the hospital like 5 times in the past 2 months BECAUSE of the burn, and only the past 2 times has it been GOOD news. ish. ALSO, this morning i get a shower and SOMEHOW, my neck moves in some way that now i have a kink in my neck and it hurts like hell. I can't freaking move it left, right, or even look up. to top it all off, I HAVE to be the most self concious person in the world. and having bad, knotted hair, and knowing that i might have to cut it off, so does not help.
I'm obviously not depressed, depressed. not the bad kind of depressed. I am just vaguely depressed, but it sucks. Nothing about this year is good, except for the trips to toronto. but thats about it.
now, If you'll excuse me... I have to go cry in a corner. [im being sarcastic]
It sucks.
This year has been the worst for me, nothing too tooooo bad. i guess. But like, i'm positive that 2009 hates me. I mean, it started in june, everyone was telling me i should go back to my natural hair color[i had dyed it black, and my natural was red] and then i begin missing it too, so i go to get it bleached, and of course, it burns my scalp. THEN, i go to toronto thinking whatever, it should be fine, and it just gets worst. Then my hair gets all knotted[were still in june,here people, now its augest and my hair is STILL knotted,] AND i stub my toe, and let me tell you, it must have been one hell of a bang, because here i am 3 months later and the toe is still affected. I've been to the hospital like 5 times in the past 2 months BECAUSE of the burn, and only the past 2 times has it been GOOD news. ish. ALSO, this morning i get a shower and SOMEHOW, my neck moves in some way that now i have a kink in my neck and it hurts like hell. I can't freaking move it left, right, or even look up. to top it all off, I HAVE to be the most self concious person in the world. and having bad, knotted hair, and knowing that i might have to cut it off, so does not help.
I'm obviously not depressed, depressed. not the bad kind of depressed. I am just vaguely depressed, but it sucks. Nothing about this year is good, except for the trips to toronto. but thats about it.
now, If you'll excuse me... I have to go cry in a corner. [im being sarcastic]
Monday, August 17, 2009
I dont know.
I am so tired of this.
I dont even know where to begin, and I cant. I can;t begin, because i cant say. But im sooooooooooo angry. GAH,, I don;t know who to talk to, or what to do, or if my advice is any good. I don't know anything. I feel incredibly stupid, and useless in this situation. I want to help, i really do, but I can't. I know what I think, and i can't tell the truth. Anyways, I had to vent this somewhere. Even though I have not completely vented, it still feels good to get a little bit off my chest. But I swear, i'm going to burst, like a little, tiny, freaking bubble poked by a thin, yet powerful needle. Not because its too much, not because i dont care, or dont want it, but because I can't do anything, I can; t say what i know, or give the right advice. I am lost. SO, incredibly, and amazingly lost.
help.
I dont even know where to begin, and I cant. I can;t begin, because i cant say. But im sooooooooooo angry. GAH,, I don;t know who to talk to, or what to do, or if my advice is any good. I don't know anything. I feel incredibly stupid, and useless in this situation. I want to help, i really do, but I can't. I know what I think, and i can't tell the truth. Anyways, I had to vent this somewhere. Even though I have not completely vented, it still feels good to get a little bit off my chest. But I swear, i'm going to burst, like a little, tiny, freaking bubble poked by a thin, yet powerful needle. Not because its too much, not because i dont care, or dont want it, but because I can't do anything, I can; t say what i know, or give the right advice. I am lost. SO, incredibly, and amazingly lost.
help.
Sad
So today, I will be watching 2 harry potter's, and then i'll be off to the hospital. I don't want to go at all, but I guess it's necessary. But I HAATE it..
I can't think of much to write lately, and kind of forget about blogger.
I hate the feeling of being blocked, and not knowing what to write. I miss writing so much, and seriously, I can't think of anything to write, not just on here, but, on a regular basis. I have to write, it's like, my life. I know that i'm writing now, but it's not the same as writing something good, that I can look at, and be impressed by myself. I belive i've already written something like this entry before, about having writer's block. Anyways, if writing doesn't work out [I weep at the thought of that] I have a back-up plan. I will become either a human rights lawyer, a chef, or a singer, probably not a singer though. I'm sort of good at it, but i wouldnt want to have to tweak my voice to make it sound better or anything.
But anyways, I'm out. I have to make something for cameron to eat, and myself...
so yeah..
byee :(
I can't think of much to write lately, and kind of forget about blogger.
I hate the feeling of being blocked, and not knowing what to write. I miss writing so much, and seriously, I can't think of anything to write, not just on here, but, on a regular basis. I have to write, it's like, my life. I know that i'm writing now, but it's not the same as writing something good, that I can look at, and be impressed by myself. I belive i've already written something like this entry before, about having writer's block. Anyways, if writing doesn't work out [I weep at the thought of that] I have a back-up plan. I will become either a human rights lawyer, a chef, or a singer, probably not a singer though. I'm sort of good at it, but i wouldnt want to have to tweak my voice to make it sound better or anything.
But anyways, I'm out. I have to make something for cameron to eat, and myself...
so yeah..
byee :(
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