i dont even know

I cant stop falling. i keep managing to pick myself up and start to walk but just as i do so i trip over my stupid foot again and fall twice as deep down this stupid dark hole. im not talking about love either, im talking about wonderful old life. i hate it. everything, everything goes wrong. i cant stop feeling depressed. whenever i just barely manage this thing on my face that could JUST pass as a smile, it just gets ripped off of me again. but the events arent even the worse part. the worst part, is that i cant feel anyone here to help catch me. i feel alone and scared and i just want the feeling to go away. I just need someone here for me, who will never go away and push me back up when i dont have the strength to get back up. but i cant feel that anymore. I can see people, yes. many people. but they`re just watching. i dont know how to live anymore, maybe i should just let myself fall. i just wish i could help myself.