My favourite part of a poem I wrote ! and more.

In time, perhaps, I'll see the big deal,
But right now, i'd rather be blind.
I'd rather live in the dark,
then have that tiny light of fake vision.


Okay, i know thats short, so instead of wasting precious page, I shall write some more.. Tomorrow I have school, and we start exams.. Im probably going to do pretty good on most of the subjects, just not math. I am the worst person at math. Honestly, I dont understand how someone could be so bad at math.. oh, well, actually i do know hoow im so bad at it, but im not going to get into that, lol. Anyways, today i went for sushi with my dad, but it wasnt the greatest, we didnt go to kanda's, we went to one at a strip mall, and it sucked :S Buuut, at least my dad seemed to enjoy it. I am so tired right now, but I think im stil having anxiety, like miranda said. Because for some reason I find it so scary to sleep, sort of the feeling that I will miss something, only, theres nothing to miss.

I feel like im wasting my time sleeping, and i wish that i didnt need to sleep.. But i do need to sleep, and I feel so.. empty when I sleep. I haven't dreamed in forever, and it feels as though i just simply close my eyes, and they open again, and that i didnt sleep, but somehow, its morning. Im afraid of the darkness that somes with sleep, and the hollowness, I hate the fact that it feels amazing to be falling asleep but the feeling ends within 5 minutes, and i somehow woke up. Im terrified of not waking up, but I wake up too fast. Honestly, im almost as tired as I am when i go to bed, when i wake up. I dont understand it, I wish it would be different.. I miss dreaming, I miss having long sleeps where when i wake up I KNOW that I was asleep, I know for a fact that the sky isnt playing tricks on me.

Like, heres an example, this is how much sleeping and awaking so fast freaks me out: I had a dream that I woke up, and it was morning, and in my dream i was freaking out because i was awake so fast. [thats the ONE dream i've had in the past several months] And then i woke up from that dream, and i glanced out the window, and the most relief that i've ever felt washed through me to know that i could go back to sleep because it was still completely dark out. I hate this feeling.. I just want it to go away, and never come back...

Anyways,, speaking of sleep, it is necessary for me to do so now, Even though it wont make much of a difference.

Goodnight, to you.

:)

Beginning og a song im writing :D

Beginning of a song im writing :)
There comes a time in everyones life,
where you gotta make a choice, but its
too hurtful to choose, its like tryin to find
a needle in a haystack yeah, many times you'll think
you got it but its just not it.

chorus:
Oh, it's, hard, to make the right decision, I know, it's,
hard, debating over which is better, which is worse.
Oh, its, heard, to make the right choice,
when the outcome is so unknown, its, hard.
-

A choice is like, a fork in the road that you
come across, when your lost, you've come so
far already, so you've got to make the choice
or else, your stuck in one place, never moving
forward or just going back..

Oh it's, hard, to make the right decision, I know, it's,
Hard, debating over which is better which is worse.
Oh, its, hard, to make the right choice,
when the outcome is so unknown, it's, hard.
-

Thats all i have right now.. im not sure what else to add at the moment... but i will think of something eventually :D

New blog!

I've decided to create a new blog.. still on this account of course, but, it just won't be "Stories from cjw" lol. The reason i'm making a new one is because im worried about the environment, and today in english class, we had to read an online blog about a kid whose parents are journalists who go o protests and press conferences about global warming and stuff like that, and over the summer of 2008, he matures from a care-free teenager, into a more caring one, he begins to realize the things going on with the environment and tries to help.. aanyways, so im going to do another blog where i write things i learn about global warming/2012/greenhouse gases, etc.. and the things i do from day to day to try an help make it better... so yeah just letting you know :-] Buut I will still be doing this blog too.

Anywho,

Today was really fast, I had gym first and we played some really ... interesting games... and after that I had english.. the best subject in the world, lol and we started our exam, it's so far easy for me, but it was only reading that day, next class we start the writing part. Then it was lunch and I had to go to my french teacher to read her the story i wrote for french last week that i didnt get a chance to read last week.. then I went to the office phone to call my uncle chris who was with shelbie and got him to bring me a coffee, hehe. Then i had to gulp the coffee down in a matter of 5 minutes because the bell rang.. this stupid action caused my stomache to be upset, but on the other hand, it also made me quite hyper.. i was so jumpy ! Anyways, then I had science and we had to create water filters.. oh the fun! Not. :-/ I don't really like science because it involves building and research.. too toooo much of it :S Well yeah, that was my day, went very fast so im happy :D well.. almost happy anyways, miranda and francis left today, back to toronto :( OH that reminds me, unfortunatly(even on coffee) I didnt end up poking thin air on top of my head pretending that the pilsberry dough boy was there.. [dont ask] But yeah, so another day... hehe.

OH! I am updating this like 3 days after i wrote this blog entry, but i just realized that involves, is AWFULLY close to the word volvo :-] The "volve' part.. I am sadly obsessed, i realized :D

Last Minute

What do you do in your last minute?
You see everything happening way to fast.
This wasn't suppose to happen,
But it's happening jus the same.

60 seconds in a minute,
15 seconds to get to see.
30 seconds to take in the situation,
but only 15 seconds to react.

But your frozen, you can't make yourself move,
Instead you think "waht did I do wrong, Why me?"
This last 15 seconds now seems too long,
When your thinking about all your regrets.

You want to jump out of the way,
But your bodies in such shock,
You can't move, you think "Oh my god, I'm going to die"
That is the moment that you thjink about you family.

You'll never see them again,
Never hear them laugh again,
Now you want to cry, but you can't form the tears.
The car is moving closer, towards the end of your life.

Now the driver wasn't thinking,
He had, had a few beers,
He wanted to get home, to see his little girl,
But neither one was going home tonight.

A little girl will lose her father,
And someone else would lose their child,
But as the police went through their stuff,
They discovered something vital.

They found out it was his daughter,
The one he was on his way to see,
Here's the moral of this story,
Just do not drink and drive.

By: Candice Jost-Ward

:( This is an actual thing that can happen, probably has happened ...

Help the earth please!

Okay, Honestly, Im starting to get scared now.. I am truely doing my best to keep this earth clean. Starting whenever i leave the house next, i am going to pick up the garbage i see. For the past so many years, i've been throwing out my garbage, telling people to pick up theirs when they litter and informing people about how bad the pollution is on earth. Now, god gave us place to walk,a place to learn, a place to start lives, lose lives, create lives, and a place for us to live. At one time, it was beautiful, but then cars were invented, motorbikes were invented, power plants and factories were created, casuing greenhouse emissions. This seriously ruins our ecosystem. The worst part is, we do it so damn selfishly too.

It's all about money, money, MONEY, and more money. Guns,bombs,nuclear weapons, were all created for war, over oil. Now the oil is bad enough, but then to create weapons that ALSO ruin the earth over another thing that ruins the earth. How does this make any sense what-so-ever? It's ridiculous. People, please clean up after your selves, it REALLY isnt that complicated. Has technology(might i add, that are built in these factories that ruin our earth) made us so lazy, that we cant simple, take a walk to a garbage can, or bend over and pick up the litter we see, and bring it to a garbage?

Honestly, I think it's disgusting.. I was picking up my garbage after myself BEFORE i found out a bout the mayan prophecy.. But now that i've read aobut it, i am more determined then ever to keep the earth clean, But i need help. I cannot do it myself.. This word will end in 2012, dec.21st, at 11:11 in the morning unless we look at ourselves in the mirror and really analyze our issues. Our selfishness. Our carefree personalities that seem to stop us from doing whats right. We need to find our good sides and change.

So instead of having to end in catasrophy, we do not end, we enter our golden age. Now you may think this sounds stupid, but did you know, the mayans predicted the twin tower catastophy? Yep. They said this; "Great birds will come from the sky and end a great city to the north, in 9/11/01" Now translate it modernly, and it really means that the birds from the sky were the planes, the great city to the north was none other then newyork city, and the date? well, everyone's heard of 9/11.. It happened on setember(the 9th month) on the 11th(so far we have 9/11) and it hapend in 2001. so inother words. the 9 stands for september, the 11 stands for the 11th day of september, and 01 stands for 2001, the year it happened.

Also, the mayans with their naked eyes, counted almost completely accurately all the starts in the solar system. They calculated the time the sun set and rose, and scientists today found out they were only off by 33 SECONDES! Now it doesnt sound all that stuid does it? I would honestly appreciate some help to enter out golden age. I'd rather not die at 16 thanks. Think of your families, do you not know a precious little boy or girl who will not even be able have lived when the world ends in flames? Do you not know a good person, who has always been nice to everyone no matter what that doesnt deserve to die in 3 years? Think about it.

We can only enter our golden age if inivudually we change. Alot of people, and mostly the people who have the power to change these things, think, it wont happen.. or if they do think it will happen, they think "oh well i've lived a good life, its okaY" but their not thinking of others. Now, the ones who do try to make an effort in changing the world have a chance. The world will restart after the end, and these people with the chance will restart as well.. like adam and eve did.

Just spread the word, help others, and help yourself. Make a change and lets enter our golden age. Please, for every little precious child, boy and girl, every unlived life, every semi-lived life, and every well lived life, save them. Help the earth. Its really not hard ! please, im begging... For me, for yourself, and for every good soul out there. Keep the earth clean.

I'm doing my part. I will not buy a car when i am of age, I will not get a scooter for my birthday as i wass suppose to. I will not drive anyone elses car, i will not litter, I will pick up garbage. Im going to help the earth, and help myself, and try to help the others around me. Please do your part.

Trip to the rock of Canada...Travel story for english =]

I felt as though we had been in the car for weeks.. It had only been 3 days, but still. We had travelled fomr Quebec Montreal, to New Brunswick, to Nova scotia in about 2 days, and then we travelled by boat across the Atlantic and now we were on the opposite side of newfoundland that we needed to be. It was day 3, and we still had a 9 hour drive ahead of us. My mom driving, her boyfriend asleep on the passenger side, and my cousin and I in the backseat. I'm feeling very restless, and at this point, would rather pull a terry fox and run the rest of the trans-canada then have to sit in this tiny, confined car any longer. The depressing country music flooded the car, the notes trapped inside the closed windows, like a prisioner trapped behind closed bars. I'd just about memorized every song on the c.d by now, it was back to the second song for the 15th time. 'Chrystal chandaliers' Its called. The music was making me feel as depressed as it was. If my mom was going to put on country music, couldn't it at least be happy country music ? I sighed, and looked out the window. It was bright out, but the sun was hidden behind invisible clouds that were leaking snow. I couldn't see any other cars yet, though one would pass occasionally. Tree's beyond tree's were all I could see right noww, and even though i'd slept for a long time earlier, the way the tree's flew past my eyes, mixed with the light snow fall and the dull light of the sun, I felt suddenly tired again. I stopped staring outside now, and covered my face with my hands... This was going to be a long 9 hours.

We rode Silently for a while, probably about 2 hours, so I jumped when the long stony silence came to an end and my mom shouted "Look! A coyote!" I automatically glanced out the window in the direction she was pointing, and sure enough, at the shoulder of the road, closer to the street then should be, stood a medium sized coyote. It was very beautiful, but it was gone the second after i'd seen it, we'd driven right past it. Well, at least i'd have ONE story to tell when we got back home. Everyone was completely awake now, on alert for everything. I was pretty much awake too, and I was also looking at every angle outside that I could manage... Left, right, front, through every opening in the trees, and because it was now somewhat dark out, and the tree's cast shadows along the sides of the road because of what little light there was left of the day, i would occasionally look behind me when I thought I saw something. But I didnt end up seeing anything else. Now that I has settled back into reality after being in a dreamy type of state, I was, once again, fully aware of the 'Chrystal Chandaliers' song playing for the thousandth time. I wondered if my ipod had enough battery left to last the rest of the way.. 7 hours.. I doubted it. Either way, It was in the trunk, and I was NOT about to ask her to stop on the middle of the empty trans-canada, next to a huge,never ending, murky forest, crawling with lunatic man-eating animals!.. I'd much rather suffer the depression.

So instead, I poked around the car for something entertaining to do, the only thing that I could find though, was a crossword puzzle book. Not that I didn't like them, but I got car sick everytime I read or wrote in a car... I weighed my options: Listen to country music and get depressed until some kind of change in atmosphere meant that we had arrived in St.Johns, which would NOT be for another 7 hours.. OR, temporarily get somewhat nauseous while doing something entertaining? I decided to go for nauseous and entertained. So I opened the crossword book and started to do them. The first few were pretty easy, and then they began to get harder. The harder the better though. It would keep me busy longer, maybe even long enough until we got to st.johns! I had to calm myself down, I shouldn't get too ahead of myself, i'd probably get frusterated with the crosswords before 7 hours could pass. Well, now about 6 hours. I was not entertained enough however, to not be able to feel the edginess building up inside of me. 6 HOURS?! We had travelled for 3 days, and 6 hours was still how long we had to go? 6 hours.. was as long as it took to get to toronto by car, still so extremely long!

Or maybe it was because I was edgy that I thought it was long. School was longer than how much time we had left to go. I was comforted by that thoguht. It was actually only 6 now, and I hated that it got dark so early. The sun had set 2 hours ago! So we'd be in St.johns by 12:30 latest. I guess that wasnt so bad. I was on the verge of falling asleep when I heard my mom tell everyone to look. As soon as everyone saw it, I could literally feel the tension escape from the stuffy car. It was a sign she told us to look at. A beautiful sign, a sign of happiness, an angel sign! A sign tat said "St.Johns next exit, 2 km" Just like before, when we had seen the coyote, I could feel myself awake completely. I was literally bouncing in my seat, talking at top speed about how exited I was, so it was barely comprehendable. The road was still dark, the forest still flying past us, when we rounded the of the st.johns exit. It was a beautiful sight. I could see all of st.johns from the view from the mountain we were on. I hadn't even realized we were on a mountain until now. Though it was late, the lights were all on, inside of the bigger buildings, I guessed those were the buisness buildingd. The contrast between the light and dark of the city was breathtaking, I could see sinal hill in the distance, so I was sure we were in st.johns now.
We had reached the rock of canada.

The end :)