So many Questions.. So little answers..

What made him change his mind?
Was it because he loves me, still?
Or was it because when I walked past him,
That first day, he saw it took all I had not to cry?

Does it hurt him too, to see me everyday?
Does he feel the constant pain I do,
When I lay in bed at night,
Trying to keep my mind off of him?

Does it ever bring tears to his eyes,
When our song comes on the radio?
Does he change the station too?
Or does he hate anything that has to do with me?

Does his chest ever feel empty?
Or does she fill that gap perfectly?
Does he wonder about me like I do him?
And does he hate that he wonders, too?

I wish I knew what he was thinking.
Does he know that I still love him?
More than my own life, more than anything?
I wish I didnt. And I wish he still felt the same.

Boredom debate

So I am really bored. And writing a random blog. Were debating what the public has a right to know and what they dont about celebrities or politicians, etc.. And i dont think that anyone really has a right to know anything about their private lives.. Its just like anyone else in the world, I dont want to know anything about some random person I meet on the street.. I dont want to know their sex life or how many people they date.. All im worried about is their name, possibly where they live and if I can be their friend. Other than that.. I dont care. It goes the same with famous people. They have their right to their privacy, and we dont need to know everything. Im against the world knowing everything about everyone. Its wrong.

Stupid fiction and they`re non- realness.

I think I need to stop reading fiction romance stories. They`re killing me. Literally speaking. I read about all these.. perfect, yet unperfect love in books that always.. ALWAYS have a conflict, but in the end.. the love is always so strong that the two in love end up together.. and they`re so perfect for eachother.. irrevocable strong love.. That is compeletely thought up by some person who probably has the same problem as me.. It`s not fair. I want to find someone who I love that much.. Who will love me that much and care for me and comfort me.. I want someone who can fill the emptiness I feel in my chest right now.. But it wont ever happen.. It wont ever be the way I have pictured it. Theres always going to be those stupid doses of horrible reality and life. I dont want it. I just wish I could suppress it forever, but its impossible. I really just wish that I could have the feelings for someone that I feel when Im reading about it. Because it feels so wonderful.. And sure.. I`ll probably have the feeling one day with someone, but for how long? Eventually the happy giddy feelings will dissapear.. and eventually ill have to start thinking about life, about money, and hosues and.. and just everything. Its amazing in the books.. they can deal with all of that without ever falling out of love, or ending in divorce or tears because the other cheated. I honestly with all of my heart wish that could happen but it never will. Im scared to not have something that I never even had to start with. But there is this giant unfulfilled hole in my chest that feels like it can never be filled. I desperately wish it could be though.

Keeeep the mystery going!

So Ive come to realize something about us girls.

I usually haaate surprises.. so When I am told that something is being done for me I immediately ask what it is.. And Yes, I get upset when I dont get an answer to what is being done for me, but in the end, I usually end up loving it. Even if it WAS a surprise.

Sooo, what i`ve figured out, is that as much as us girls will beg you guys to tell us what you`re planning or what you`re doing.. NEVER GIVE IN! Because as much as we do ask and beg and wine, we really dont want to know. I know this now from personal experience. I was told by my boyfriend that he`d going to do something nice for me, and I was like what what what!! and for like 20 minutes he would not budge and would not tell me. He only told me there were roses involved. But being me, I begged and begged, and so finally he told me, he was making a dinner for us :) which is INCREDIBLY sweet of him.. but when I think about it, I would have rather not known, because i deflated and lost interest in the topic and there was no more mystery about it. Nothing to ask about, nothing to keep me up for hours wondering about.. I just know now. And thats it. I am going to know and theres just no more fun in it now..

So anyways.. Just though that any guys reading this should know that. NEVER spill the surprise, as much as we will beg you too or how much we say we hate surprises, DO NOT GIVE IN!! because deep down, we really do love surprises and if you tell us, theres nothing mysterious about you, or spontaneuous.. Keep mystery in your relationship.. It`ll keep us girls wondering about you and keep the need in us to figure everything out about you.. Trust me.. I know.